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I Should Be Feeling Better, Not Worse.

To say that today had been an emotional day would be a gigantic over simplification. I felt as though I was on an emotional roller coaster throughout. Not fun.


Saturday, I had been very physically shaky, felt weak but okay otherwise. Sunday, I had had plans for the Spring Farm Tours but felt so weak and lethargic I thought it best not to people. Today was worse. I usually had some moments of unbridled energy that I use to prep food or clean house like I did the day before. Instead, I couldn’t even work up the energy to stretch so that my body would feel better until the last possible moment... and even that was done half assed. I loath not giving my all to things it truly does bother me.


The phone calls and orientation I went to today and then the ending appointment all account for the emotional upheaval. Still, I would like to sincerely know why so much bs has happened with treatments. Does this happen to everyone? Is our medical system so messed up that not even the basics can be accomplished? Seriously, what is going on?!


Driving the ten minutes into town exhausted me. My four flights of stairs and having to park down the road from my house made me about want to cry. Taking Dorien to and from his library volunteering had him pulling me, quite literally, up the stairs. So, so just beyond exhausted.


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