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Frustration

I’m fairly certain that I have mentioned that I do not ‘people’ well? I’ve never been good at chit chat, always mean exactly what I say and thus make the assumption that everyone else does too. When I say ‘hello’ and ask how you are today I honestly want to know the answer.

My childhood was... complicated and out of the norm. Said childhood created who I am today and for that I am thankful. I appreciate who I am in this moment. I may not find my situation a good one but I’m alive that is bloody fantastic!


According to my boys’ I’m not being aggressive enough reaching out for media attention on the Sutter issue. I don’t like being the center of attention. You miss details when you are the sole focus of others. I just need them to change their procedures and I can go back to focusing solely on our family and my recovery. I really and truly do not need this to get dragged out. Three months is the estimated time from early April to when they think they’ll actually be able to save what they can of my total kidney function. Three months to gain what I’ll have for the remainder of my life and I’m only thirty-five, such an overwhelming fact.


Going against the way I function as a person to try and get this done is a constant battle. I’m dreading it and wishing it was over at the same time. The ironic thing is that I’m an ISFJ, a defender. So, all of this is within my purview in some way possibly. I do need to lessen the stress, I will most certainly admit that.

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