A Very Full Day
Today has been a full day by my new standards. Therapy day. I wasn’t able to stop by my new favorite cafe due to my financial constraints but I thought as many positive thoughts of them as I drove past. I would have enjoyed stopping in, even though I think I was far too tired for it.
The discussion with my wonderful therapist, Lisa, sparked some thoughts that I had put on hold and others I hadn’t yet considered. I showed her my site. We discussed how it gave me the feeling of being in control in some aspect of my new reality. I had created it with not only myself in mind but for current and future medical use. She suggested I contact folks and so that I have started. I even found an on-going study on Glomerulonephritis at Duke University. I want to give what time I am able to this because it matters not only to my long term life expectancy, but to others as well.
I also need to press forward with Sutter, so I have finally reached out to 7 On Your Side. Sutter needs to change their procedures and my therapist suggested several ways to go about that. I spoke to some other sound minds and have come up with a pseudo strategy on how to tackle that. Stressors cause a worsening of my condition, but I highly doubt anyone else this has happened to had a website with a timeline and all of the paper / medical work readily on hand. If it happened this way at least I’m prepared to deal with it rather than someone not as tech savvy nor mentally sound. I see the problem, I fix it. The real key is having them make the correct changes and me not creating figurative noise for the sake of it. That is also the most complicated part.
I added a Fundly page to my website via my therapists suggestion. Asking for help isn’t something I’m really for or against. It isn’t about pride, it’s about keeping food on my table and gas in my cars tank. In my life there just really wasn’t anyone to ask for help, so I simply didn’t.
I guess the other topic clunking around in my head has been of the future and what it is I want to do. I’m already tentatively planning out the next three years of college classes. I was just at the start of my goals and had been waiting for the new semester. I’m more SRJC savvy than before. I just need to take it slow. It was my eldest that really made me think. We had been planning to move to Washington State in three years, when the youngest graduates high school. There’s a company and a specific college Dorien wants to work for and attend respectively. I want to host a hostel in a permaculture and sustainable community, that was my retirement plan. Now that I’m fully aware that I won’t have a full life I want to aim towards that all the sooner. I have the beginnings of my plan set, I hope to go in a few weeks for early registration for the summer semester starting with a class or two.
Goals and something for the long term. We can’t let our current reality overwhelm us since we have to swim life’s currents ourselves. Not going to lie though, I do have my moments of serious freak out. I think we all need those moments or we would figuratively drown.
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